Wrong reason Essay Example for Free

Wrong reason Essay It is sad that some marriages begin for what may be labeled a wrong reason. Some marriages were entered expressly for physical reasons. Perhaps the participants were infatuated with the others looks. Sexual gratification has no doubt given birth to many wed locks. Physical appearances change as age sets in and these marriages land in the divorce courts. Infidelity often crops up in these marriages but as said in Hebrews 13:4, Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Being unfaithfulness in a marriage relationship is a sure way to bring about troubles and divorce. Gods design for the home is one man and one wife. There is no place for a second wife, a second husband, a concubine, a mistress, etc. The intimacy and fidelity which a marriage is to have can melt away when either partner turns to someone else for love and companionship. If the two have become one flesh, then there is no place for a third in the mix. Another challenge which arises occasionally is in-laws who desire to interfere in a marriage. There is nothing wrong with advice, helpful suggestions, and offers to give a hand, but when extended family become involved in a marriage more than they ought, it is time to establish appropriate boundaries immediately. Whether from the husbands or the wifes side, the in-laws must be made aware of their proper connection to the relationship. They are encouragers of, not participants in the marriage. Many youngsters marry in order to spite their parents. A good reason to get into wedlock is because parents did not like him/her. These marriages are made with the intention of harming another; the result will be doubtless harm to oneself. Also money is one of the primary things which lead couples to knock on the divorce doors. If money is the foundation of a marriage it can never bring in any warmth. Then there are different isolated issues which may break marriages. One woman was impressed by a fellow who gave a large amount of his time and money to charity. After she married him, it was her money and time that could have been spent with her that went to charity. She was not at all impressed with his generosity now. In different cultures, values are so wide spread and commonly held that they are taken for granted. Cross cultural marriages require special investigation because the people never think that other cultures have different ways of doing things. A woman from an upper class South America background married a US fellow who was studying to become a professor. She did not realize that US professors are not well paid. She ended up living in what to her was degrading poverty. He did not realize that upper class women from her country did not do housework. It was the duty of the husband to hire the help or do the work himself. He ended up doing it himself. Then what happens to the issues of these broken marriages? Broken families are one of lifes greatest tragedies. Divorce hurts! Children are robbed of the special experience and protection called Family. They move on in their lives without the understanding of what familial security and bond is. There is anger and bitterness in them and a feeling of guilt for parents use them as the target of their fights. A feeling of shame and inferiority creeps in and they hold a very low esteem of themselves. They often feel rejected. The feeling that one has been abandoned by the two closest people in the world often leaves scars that are difficult to heal. A loss of family identity often makes one feel inadequate or incomplete. Research shows that people who come from broken families are twice as much at risk in having failed marriages. Many of us do not realize how much we actually pick up from our own upbringing. Thus children of broken marriages suffer in deep emotional pain, ill health, depression, anxiety, even shortened life span. They tend to drop out of school, very few attend college, they earn less income, they develop more addictions to drugs and alcohol, and they engage in increased violence. Trusting each other is a very important ingredient of a marriage. Many people get into marriage, thinking that love is all they need. Most of us are not told that marriage requires work. Marriage is hard work. There are, of course, happy times but there will also be trying and painful times. In marriage, a woman and a man trust their souls to each other and with love and commitment and each improves the other. â€Å"It is like lifting a heavy load,† say Linda McConahey. â€Å"It is much easier if you join hands and help each other. In 1 Corinthians 7: 3-4, Paul writes, Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Just as we are obliged to do good in the service of our Lord, we are bound to also do good for our spouse. In our relationship to the Lord, we belong to Him; in the marriage relationship, the husband and wife belong to one another. Sources: Why Marriages Fail by Kerby Anderson, www. probe. org Why Many Marriages Fail James Long, http://www.analog-rf.com/